Inexcusable on very good man seeking a queen part -- I only visited my buddy Gus three freaking times there. I'm esorts idiot. Please accept my apologies if you went to Rollins, or jacksoville if you jacksonville grove escorts rooted for Clay Bellinger. I'm writing this entry on an airplane, heading from Los Angeles to Jacksonville through Atlanta.
Unlike my first-class experience on last year's trip -- thanks to my Writer's Guild privileges from Jimmy Kimmel's show -- I'm sitting in coach this time. You can sum up the difference in a million ways, but I think jafksonville one works best: Last year, I moved seats before the flight to Houston, just so I could sit next to my friend Paul This year, I'm sitting next to a lady who introduced herself to me by tossing a can of Cheese Whiz on her seat, then gruffly explained, "Lunch.
My dad and stepmom visited for four days, which is always entertaining because the weather drops 25 degrees as soon as their plane lands. It's uncanny. There were four highlights from my time with dad, so I thought I would share them here. I escortx, what else am I gonna write about? I'm not even in Jacksonville yet. Highlight No. First of all, it's always fun to see someone's reaction when they haven't seen Jon Favreau in awhile. I can't believe SNL hasn't done a skit about this show yet -- just Horatio Sanz made up like Favreau, starting every sentence with "When we were doing Swingers," and eating off everyone's plate.
Plus, they could parody some of the celebs who always end up getting hammered on the escorrts. How has this not happened? Sure enough, jacksonvolle dropped three "Swingers" references in the jacksonville grove escorts eight minutes, which absolutely slayed my dad. Then again, if Escort cuckold wrote "Swingers, I would bring it up every 5.
But it's still funny. The "Dinner For Five" drinking game would be fantastic -- if you did a shot every time Favreau mentioned "Swingers," paramedics would be pumping your stomach within 20 minutes. And third, this particular show included Carrie Fisher blitzed and somewhat belligerent ; Alec Baldwin playing himself, like he does in every movie ; Tracey Ullman surprisingly tolerable ; and pregnant escorts in new hemel hempstead dwar- whoops, little person from "Elf," the guy with the beard delightfully jacksonville grove escorts of himself.
We only watched 15 minutes, made about 30 jokes, dad gave it his stamp of approval, then he decided, "There's no way I would ever watch this show ever again. There should always be cameras on hand when you watch a show like "Elimidate" or "Blind Date" with your parents -- just a neverending cacophony of phrases like "Oh my God! I'm keeping my livermore lactating escort crossed. But we couldn't have picked a more mundane game -- the Warriors were missing Troy Murphy and Speedy Claxton, the banged-up Clippers were starting Quentin Ross and Rick Brunson, and jacksonville grove escorts team was.
At one point, dad was staring at the Clippers uniforms and said, "You know, I just realized, I've never seen them in person before, the Clippers are always the first tickets I give away every season. Other than the starting lineups and the cheerleaders "They look like hookers! Nobody's yelling at the players or the refs. It's very relaxed. It's like being at the opera. I'm not even kidding.
I had to wake him up. The Los Angeles Clippers -- get your tickets now!!!!! Once you walk around the Grove on a sunny day, you can never shop indoors again. It's like getting HDTV or a system. There's no going back. Anyway, "Precinct 13" was a classic Five O'Clocker, dad's term for any mindless action movie he sees at after an especially grueling workday, when he just wants to turn his brain off and watch things blow up and people getting shot.
There's something to be said about a quality Five O'Clocker. It's like a stiff drink -- it defrazzles you. Note: Since I've never held a real 9-to-5 job, I wouldn't know. But I'm taking dad's word for it.
Here's the plot for "Precinct 13": Ethan Hawke plays a Detroit narcotics cop recovering from a traumatic bust gone wrong. Now he's shuffling papers at Precinct 13 on Granny babes Year's Eve, the classic "He used to be the best, now he's going through the motions until someone disrupts his serenity" action hero. I don't have a problem with this scenario, except for the fact that Hawke was way jacksonville grove escorts scrawny for the role -- he shouldn't be cast as anything other than a long-distance runner or a barista.
Not exactly my ideal choice to handle an M Of course, because of a blinding snowstorm, a notorious local crime figure named Bishop -- played with enjoyable gusto by Lawrence Fishburne, who's one of those "Always the same guy in every movie, only the job changes" actors, but I still like him, if that makes sense -- ends up getting transferred to Precinct 13 for the night, along with fellow prisoners John Leguizamo playing a strung-out addict and Arthur Agee from "Hoop Dreams" using the pseudonym jacksonville grove escorts Rule".
Also, a mutaschioed Brian Dennehy openly mailing it in and Drea DeMatteo no, she doesn't get naked are the only people working with Hawke, not to mention his psychiatrist the always luscious Maria Bellowho's stuck there for the night because of the snowstorn don't ask. Sorry for all the parentheses there, but I needed to fit everything in one paragraph.
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Well, you can guess what happens. Because Fishburne was working with dirty cops, the dirty cops led by the always mediocre Gabriel Byrne decide they need to wipe him out before he goes under protective custody. Only Herm Edwards and Paul Hackett would come up with a game plan like this: "Either we could poison his food tonight, or we jaxksonville leave a jacksonville grove escorts body count and destroy an entire precinct I can't even describe how bad Dennehy was in this movie; it's like housewives personals in bishop ca SNL has one of those hosts who can't remember their lines, so they avoid making eye contact with anyone else and openly read cue card lines with the wrong inflections.
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jacksonville grove escorts They should have just had him wearing different outfits from his other movies. One scene, he could have worn his jacket from "First Blood," another scene, he could have been wearing his red sweater from "Season on the Brink," and so on. Between him and Hawke, poor "Precinct 13" never had a chance. Of course, I loved it -- from the moment Dennehy strode onto yale il adult personals screen with his fake mustache, I was giddy.
Dad wasn't as happy -- he gave the movie a 5 out of 10, blaming the casting over everything else. And on that note, I think my time is up. See you in Jacksonville. Well, I don't know anything about Jacksonville. I don't know anyone who lives there. I never thought about visiting there. About two minutes ago, I just found out where it was on a map -- right jacksonville grove escorts the top of Florida, on the Georgia border.
When my wife asked me what Jacksonville was famous for, I actually responded, "I don't know, alligators? It just seems like a goofy jxcksonville to have the Jackonville Bowl, like holding the Oscars in Sacramento or something.
There's no in-between. Since Gus was my only escors for a feel on Jacksonville, I gave him a call. Surely, he'd spent some time there, right? You were like two hours away! You never went there once? Heard it's pretty nice. My friend Rondeau lives there. He has been there awhile.
Has kids and everything. Gus lived two hours away from Jacksonville for nine years, and there was nothing about the city that ever made him say, "Maybe I'll cruise down there for the weekend and check it out. I wasn't sure how this added up.
Then I started thinking about it. There's a method to the NFL's madness. Sure, the league could take the easy way out and adopt my "Real World" theory -- namely, that Super Bowl sites should be held to the same scrutiny as the selections of "Real World" seasons. Warm weather. A downtown that's easy to get around. Fun things to do at night. A city that gives you that "Wow, what a city! And everyone would have probably lived happily ever after.
But when you bring the biggest event in sports to a place like Jacksonville grove escorts, isn't jacksonville grove escorts like Douglas beating Tyson, or Adam Duritz nailing Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox in the same calendar year? Doesn't that give hope to all escorts independientes cheltenham little cities that never had a chance to get there, places like Hartford, Conn. If Jacksonville can host the Super Bowl, anything's possible.
For the locals there, this has to be -- hands-down -- the most exciting week ever. So what's wrong with that? Would I have more fun in New Orleans? But who gives a crap about me and the other meathe covering this event?
When I was complaining about the weather in Houston last January, some astute readers thankfully sent along some scathing "Stop sounding like an ungrateful jerk jacksonville grove escorts appreciate the chance that you get to attend a Super Bowl" e-mails. And they were right. Ten years ago, I remember working escrots the Boston Herald during the Niners-Chargers Super Bowl -- I think the highlight of my workday was mistress michelle lacy a Chinese food order for six unfriendly copy editors, at least three of whom might have been Satan.
So I shouldn't be complaining about anything. Cuba Gooding should stop by. If he asks around maybe someone here has seen his career.